#Industry

May 22, 2013

9:09 AM

Steve Says:

Sony stock increases during the announcement of xbox one

Xbox!!!!!!!11111one!

So back on February 20th I decided to do a minute-by-minute update of the Playstation Meeting that was held to announce the Playstation 4. I figured that since yesterday was a similar reveal for the next generation of Xbox, that I’d do the same thing.

Now the reality is, I’ve never owned an Xbox. It’s just something I haven’t done, and haven’t really had a desire to do. The games typically don’t seem very appealing to me, though I was heavily considering it when Fez, and Mark of The Ninja were exclusives for it. When it comes down to it though, I’m not really a fan-boy per say, so I figured it might be worth my time as an indie developer to scope out their reveal and see what the new generation will have in store for us. So below will be a bunch of notes that I took, followed by some additional links that might be worth checking out if you’re interested in finding more about the Xbox One.

10:00 – Sound bytes with a ton of people reading a script. This sort of marketing doesn’t do anything for me, because I can tell that no one believes what they’re saying. They were all asked to say specific lines, and that just reeks to me of propaganda.
10:02 – This shit’s going to stalk you. It will remember your voice, your name, and what you like.
10:07 – XboxOne is the official title… it’s supposed to be the ultimate in entertainment, will respond to you, will make things look and feel like “nothing else”. I guess it will be the one and only thing you need or something.
10:08 – Cloud powered… ruh roh… what exactly does that mean? Will we be buying disc media? Will you have to rely on their servers to play games you buy? Is this going to be more Sim City?
10:09 – Yusuf Mehdi says: the device will turn on your tv, and all other devices, and will control your shit. “Xbox On” will respond to your voice activation to turn on your xbox, and get you ready to do shit that you were doing last time.
10:11 – Has a “Trending” section which will help you see what’s important to other people. You can play games, movies, and music. You move through menus by waving your hand around, or by telling it what to do. “Xbox… WATCH TV” and BAM, now you’re watching tv
10:12 – Instant Switching allows you to switch what you’re doing with voice command… and is as fast as using a remote control… except, you don’t need to use a remote control
10:13 – Also responds to hand gestures via kinect. Can also use “snap mode” to run multiple programs simultaneously… ie… watching a movie while searching stuff on the internet… and you can use your mobile phone as a remote… wait… why wouldn’t I use an xbox controller as a remote? Why do I need my phone? is it because of the keyboard on a phone? why wouldn’t I just surf the internet on my phone if I have one?
10:14 – Skype… and since it’s owned by Microsoft, will have group calling features unique to the xbox… you can watch movies while on skype… because that’s what you do when you’re on the phone with someone you don’t actually want to converse with.
10:16 – Can track fantasy sports teams stats sync with actual television… I don’t follow sports or fantasy sports… so… I’m already starting to lose interest
10:17 – Xbox One guide… lets you look at what’s on tv. I… guess they really just want this to be a home theater pc.
10:19 – As someone who doesn’t watch tv… I’m currently bored
10:20 – It’s apparently powerful. There are 5 billion TRANSISTORS!
10:21 – It’s modern… but also futuristic
10:21 – Three OPERATING SYSTEMS! One for watching movies, and one for windows, and one for connecting them.
10:22 – Why do they keep mentioning Star Trek? What does that have to do with anything?
10:22 – This shit’s rocket science. It measures the speed of light. Your mind’s going to get blownnnnnnn. Also, it’s magic.
10:23 – It understands Yoga and Tai Chi, and boxing. It will also make a really weird bubbly mesh out of you because it looks at your heart. What?
10:24 – The controller is “just better”. Also it’s glass is smart. You know… the glass that you can download. Wtf? Am I already supposed to know what smart glass is? Am I just an idiot?
10:25 – It’s magic. And it’s seamless. And shit recognizes you. And it’s lag free.
10:26 – NEW XBOX LIVE. Uses the same subscription, but is better in every freaking way. It’s powerful, and there’s lots of computers on it. 300,000 servers. More than 1999’s entire computing power globally. Shit just got real, dawg. And it has to, because it’s storing everything on the cloud.
10:27 – You’ll be able to use DVR to store your game videos to the cloud. Achievements are dynamic and will change. Better matchmaking… it’ll be asynchronous so you can find partners while not even trying to find partners. That’s right. You can watch a movie, and matchmake at the same time. That way people can constantly get frustrated that their match is idling while they’re ready to play a game.
10:28 – MAGICCCCC. They’re really stressing that they have done shit you can’t comprehend here.
10:28 – I like Aussie accents. EA Sports… not so much. But let’s hear what he has to say.
10:29 – Footie, Football, Fighting, and, Basketball. IT’LL BE AWESOME! Sports is revolutionary!
10:30 – Athletes are talking about how great it is to be an athlete. I’m guessing this is going to relate to how boring it is to play a video game, and now they’re going to say “games are now more like sports!”
10:32 – The AI is now 4 times faster, and the animations are better… there’s 10 times more animation “depth”… and there will now be dynamic crowds. They’ll be 3D. And dynamic. Because crowds are the most important part of being an athlete.
10:33 – Ultimate Team is apparently really popular, and it will only exist on Xbox. Weird. Also, they don’t tell you anything about it.
10:34 – Every time I hear Xbox One, I think of the original Xbox. I don’t know if that’s going to change.
10:35 – The ground breaking technology will make games better in every way. Their claim, not mine.
10:36 – Xbox fans will get more games. Damn. They’re lucky.
10:37 – Racing. Oh man… why even attempt to compete with the Playstation Drive Club guy? Those cars have leather steering wheels. At least this will be out at launch.
10:38 – Magic!
10:39 – Cloud! Visuals so real, you’ll see the imperfections! Wait… what? Is seeing the faults supposed to be a good thing?
10:40 – I got really distracted while thinking about all this magic… and now I realize that I’m watching live action which has just cut to really bad CG where a ship is crashing through a bridge? Video game people… don’t mix CG with live action… it looks bad. Please, please don’t do this any more. This is hard enough to get right in film, but when your cg is “realistic” and doesn’t look real it breaks it’s ability to stand up to expectations. 4th Wall, and all that.
10:42 – There’s going to be new franchises. And the TV Screen will cash in on this if you have an Xbox. I guess it’s cool that they’re trying to take advantage of the tv… I mean… why use it if you’re not going to -use- it, right? But I really don’t care about watching tv. That’s why I have netflix (which I don’t even use often).
10:44 – Xbox is going to become the next “Water Cooler”? I don’t know what that means, but at least we can expect less deaths from dehydration while playing games.
10:46 – They’re really excited about tv over at xbox. There’s going to be a Spielberg Halo series? Weird. Also weird that this is an Xbox announcement. Maybe this is going to be Captain Power and the Soldiers of the Future Mark II? Get ready to shoot the aliens for points that you can cash in for microsoft points! My words, not theirs.
10:49 – Oh yeah… more sports. Just make sure you have smart glass.
10:51 – more magic. seriously, this shit’s boring the shit out of me… oh… wait… release date: later this year
10:53 – Oh right, first person shooter about calling duty will exist too. Be prepared to kill terrorists or something
10:55 – Damn… I got too caught up in everyone making fun of this shit on Twitter. Got distracted, and came back for them to talk about how amazing the dog is in Call of Duty.
10:57 – Stop talking about the fluid dynamics, and go back to talking about the dog.
10:59 – Here’s how amazing the graphics are now! Also… we’re not going to show them “side by side” even though we just said it’s “side by side”. That way you can just take our word as fact that it’s infinitely better without being able to directly compare with your eyes.
11:01 – This shit’s just rediculous. Who cares about dirt under finger nails? Aaaaar… wait, there’s mo-cap dog again. I’m satisfied.
11:04 – Wow… so… that was it? Sports, and magic, and transistors? That was. Hmm…

Alright so… that was a rather… unexciting look forward as far as I’m concerned. No price, no release date, no talk about used game policies, very little mention of new games coming out (though there will be), no stance on indies… which is… I don’t know… a good explanation for why the Sony Corporation Common Stock just took a jump up?

Anyways, this is the news that’s out there right now about it:

And that about sums it up. So um… maybe if you like playing sports games, while watching sports and watching the stats of your fantasy sports team update, this is the console for you? Go Xbox?

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#Industry

Xbox!!!!!!!11111one!